[personal profile] sageautumn
It is really annoying to live in a world/time where it is so hard to make a comment without it being taken as hitting on someone. (Or, perhaps, this is my own social anxiety talking... not sure.)

This morning I wanted to send* a male on my friends-list a private message... something saying I sort of got what he was going through, and he wasn't alone in his feelings. Nothing more, just... hey, I get you and where you're coming from, if you need to talk, I'm 100% outside, not invested, and am willing to listen**... and because of the nature of what's going on, I didn't send that since I was concerned it'd come off as "let's get clooose".

Which, I'm fine with getting closer to people, but not THAT sort of close. I've got some stuff in life going on I'm happy with, and and some crap going on that doesn't need more complications. So I really didn't/wouldn't mean it that way, but would it come off like that? Dunno, and I guess I'd rather err on the side of caution.

Last night, I read a post on facebook to which I wanted to respond, "In the most platonic way possible, that is incrediably hot!" ... ... which I really am certain there isn't a way to say without it being weird. But hey, what she did was really sexy and neat and whatever... and I have ZERO feelings about it other than "Wow! How sexy that she does that*** herself!"

* and did end up sending a very generic message
**because, FOR ME, there are times when it's way way way easier to vent and talk to someone who has ZERO investment in a situation
***physical labor, typically done by a male... totally unsexual

Date: 2010-07-22 01:22 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] thenanerbananer.livejournal.com
I just want to say...I know...I get it. :)
Ugh, what have we become that we can't just take people's words at face value rather than read things into them? While the internet and social networking sites and texting and e-mail, have their value; it is SO easy to have what you write be misinterpreted and you end up offending someone with something that you had no intention of being offensive at all. It's frustrating. I understand your hesitancy.

Date: 2010-07-22 01:24 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] bart-calendar.livejournal.com
You can send me a private message any time you want and unless it includes the phrase "I want to bone you" I will assume you are not hitting on me.

Date: 2010-07-22 02:42 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] elderwoodpixie.livejournal.com
I think you should feel free to say what you wanted to say and, if someone then asks "are you hitting on me?", tell them, "No". But I think most people would understand better than you expect.

Don't forget, most people have had similar feelings, too.

Date: 2010-07-22 06:41 pm (UTC)
From: [identity profile] popfiend.livejournal.com
I have a naturally flirtatious manner, so lots of things are HAWT and beautiful and gorgeous to me. I also believe that people should feel that way about themselves. So I say it.

But when I flirt, it's about the ego boo and not about getting in someone's pants.

I have pants I'm into already and I like them.

Sadly, I've had one person misinterpret this. But fortunately, I've only had ONE person misinterpret this, so I must be doing something right.

I think on some level it's harder for women, just because sometimes my gender seems to be full of clueless trolling douchebags (at least online). YMMV.



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